Ch-ch-ch-changes

Well, the kids and i have been living in Alaska for almost 3 weeks now. its a huge change from living in California- shit, that's the understatement of the year. we don't know anyone here aside from Sheryl and Larry. most of the people seem friendly enough but i'm struggling with the idea of planting roots here, hoping that we will be moving back to P-town after this "experimental year in Alaska" is over with. i'm unable to let go of the life we had there. i miss it. i've never been a big fan of changes and my stubbornness forbids me to give up on the idea of returning home. home... what does that word really mean, anyway? if home is where your heart is, then my home will always be good ole P-town. but home could also just mean wherever me and the kids are as long as we're together. Alaska doesn't feel like home but its only been a few weeks. who knows how i'll feel in a month or even a year. but a YEAR?!? oh my god, that is such a long time! at least it seems like an eternity right now. i do like it here though. i like the idea of raising my kids in a small town surrounded by the wilderness... a simple kind of life, ya know? i just wish i could bring everyone that i love with me. i miss them all so much. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about the people i love and all the things i am missing out on by being here. i'm so scared that the next time i see everyone they will have changed so much and our wonderful lives together will be nothing but a mere memory... but change is inevitable and that concept is something i continue to struggle with. i tell myself to stop fighting change. to embrace it. to welcome it. because change and the ability to adapt is what makes us grow and become stronger. i mean, just look at all the changes i've had to deal with in the past year. i know for a fact that had it not been for those changes i would not be the strong, independent woman that i am now. so i guess what i'm saying is should we, as humans of habit and security, invite change into our lives in hopes that it will empower us? maybe. just maybe.

into the thick of it

nature hike with my boy :)

wild berries. don't eat em!!

shroomin

clay and i named these little guys "booger shrooms"

"eagle rock"

some harbor seals floatin down the Kenai river

A vegetarian's dream

One of the things i love most about our new place in Alaska is the wonderful gardens that are on the property. Ma and Pa work really hard each spring to ensure that there are plenty of fruits and veggies to harvest. And what's even more impressive is that they start most of their crops from seed inside the house in early spring!! The kids absolutely LOVE being able to pick fresh crops and i am happy to report that there is no problem getting them to eat their vegetables now :) Their grandparents have even told them that next year they will each get a row in the garden to plant whatever their little hearts desire. who knew kids could be stoked on veggies!! here is a look at what the garden looked like this year:

basil
peppers

melons

tomatoes

potatoes

broccoli

peas

artichokes

rhubarb

beets

lettuce

strawberries

chard

brussel sprouts

carrots & parsnips

turnips

big turnips :)

cauliflower

cabbage

and so here we are...

P-town. The place i grew up in, our house in Birdland, friends i've had since high school... i've left that all behind now and i'm starting a brand new journey in the beautiful land of Alaska. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be living in Alaska and my parents would be living in South Dakota, i'd probably tell ya i think you're nuts!! But because life is unpredictable and hard times, although painfully heartbreaking to go through, make you stronger and allow you to grow and live your life to the fullest.


My parents told me they were selling their house a few months ago and i was totally taken by surprise. it was the house that i grew up in, the house my kids had grown up in... full of memories. they never hinted the fact that they had no money or were even considering selling the house. i didnt want them to sell it and i hoped that because the economy was suckish they wouldnt be able to. Me and the kids had moved into a quaint little place of our own in downtown ptown and life was pretty darn swell. It was definitely challenging being a single mom with 2 kids living on our own... but it was awesome at the same time cause it gave me such a sense of accomplishment and it brought our little family together in so many ways. But my parents sold their house with no problem at all and in what seemed like record time to me. So they were busy selling stuff on e bay and packing shit away without really having a plan of action. They talked about moving to Wisconsin or Minnesota... which would make sense seeing as thats where my mom's from. And they also talked about moving to places like Montana or Idaho or Tennessee... My dad was convinced that California was going to hell and that everyone needed to get outta Dodge. Fast. They decided to buy an RV. Cool. I would love to own an RV someday and just take off and travel to anywhere. But then they took a trip to South Dakota in their new RV and ended up buying a house. Um.. excuse, me? You bought a freaking house without consulting me?!?!? without letting me and the kids know?!?! i mean come on, South Dakota?? where the population of their town in only 120 people??? jesus christ!! i seriously think my dad done lost his mind when he told me where they moved to. But whatevs... i figured i could at least try to make things work in p-town without my parents' support. I had such a wonderful family of friends that i knew i would be able to rely on if i needed some help :) And then me and the kids took our annual trip to Alaska where Clay's grandparents live. They offered to have us move in with them and told us that if we could stick it out for a year they would build us our own house on their property. A generous offer indeed!! Like everyone, i have always dreamed of having my own house someday never imagining that i would be able to get one pretty much for free. So with much thought and consideration i made the decision to give Alaska a try. I knew that because of major budget cutbacks within the school system i would probably not be getting the job that i wanted as a special needs aide and without a consistent source of income there was no way that i would be able to stay in California. Leaving behind a wonderful family of friends was the hardest thing i've ever had to do and i miss them so much that sometimes i wonder if i've made the right choice. But in all honesty i knew in my heart that the choice i made was the best one for myself and for my children. The adjustment is huge and i know it will take time to settle in... but P-town will always be home. no matter where life takes us or throws at us one thing is for sure: my kids and i have each other and we are survivors, not victims. and so... here we are.

whoa!

christmastime!!

xmas morning... after opening presents. and, yes, clay is wearing his brand-new, homemade snuggie : ) and, ofcourse, chloe got a snuggie too

chloe and her "water machine." she looooves this thing!! she told santa that she wanted a water machine for xmas. at first i was like: umm.... a water machine? what the hell? i didnt want to ask her too many questions about what the heck a water machine was cause "santa" is supposed to know these things, right? but... santa pulled through and delivered just the kind of "water machine" chloe wanted... YES!
clay got a new painted turtle from santa. he named him "squirt". him and jack are getting along just fine...all dressed up

this, folks, is a whip cream roll and it is the highlight of our christmas dinner. pure yumminess!!

the whole fam went back to Minnesota & Wisconsin a couple days after xmas. chloe had never been there and clay and i hadn't been back for almost 10 years. i had totally forgotten just how fricking cold it is there!!! but the snow is amazing and we all had a blast playing in it : )

my grandpa is kind of a hard core green bay packer fan. i was kinda like... whoa!

and here he is... my grandpa. he's battling throat cancer at the moment and the doctors say things arent looking too good for him : ( but he was in great spirits and sooo happy that we came to visit!!here's me and my dear grandma... she wasnt used to having a vegetarian in staying at her house cause well... everything is meat and potatoes in the midwest!!! ahhh!!!! but i survived... i mean, Wisconsin IS known for its cheese and, man oh man, its delicious!!! happy christmas to all!!