Ch-ch-ch-changes

Well, the kids and i have been living in Alaska for almost 3 weeks now. its a huge change from living in California- shit, that's the understatement of the year. we don't know anyone here aside from Sheryl and Larry. most of the people seem friendly enough but i'm struggling with the idea of planting roots here, hoping that we will be moving back to P-town after this "experimental year in Alaska" is over with. i'm unable to let go of the life we had there. i miss it. i've never been a big fan of changes and my stubbornness forbids me to give up on the idea of returning home. home... what does that word really mean, anyway? if home is where your heart is, then my home will always be good ole P-town. but home could also just mean wherever me and the kids are as long as we're together. Alaska doesn't feel like home but its only been a few weeks. who knows how i'll feel in a month or even a year. but a YEAR?!? oh my god, that is such a long time! at least it seems like an eternity right now. i do like it here though. i like the idea of raising my kids in a small town surrounded by the wilderness... a simple kind of life, ya know? i just wish i could bring everyone that i love with me. i miss them all so much. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about the people i love and all the things i am missing out on by being here. i'm so scared that the next time i see everyone they will have changed so much and our wonderful lives together will be nothing but a mere memory... but change is inevitable and that concept is something i continue to struggle with. i tell myself to stop fighting change. to embrace it. to welcome it. because change and the ability to adapt is what makes us grow and become stronger. i mean, just look at all the changes i've had to deal with in the past year. i know for a fact that had it not been for those changes i would not be the strong, independent woman that i am now. so i guess what i'm saying is should we, as humans of habit and security, invite change into our lives in hopes that it will empower us? maybe. just maybe.