it was a sad morning today

he calls about once every couple of months. he lives in Finland. he doesn't write or send them anything. he doesn't help to support them financially. he's my ex-husband and Chloe's father. he just happen to call this morning and Chloe talked to him. she put the phone on speaker (which was seriously not my idea), and i caught parts of their conversation...

not all of the conversation was upsetting: Chloe told him how we built a pond for our turtle, Jack; and she informed her daddy that Swisher got traded to the white sox and doesn't play for the A's anymore (which was devastating news here at our house); and other important news according to our almost 5-year old daughter.

But then Chloe started to ask him why she "can't see him" and "when can he come over to play?" he tried to explain to her that he doesn't live here and he's "working" in Finland right now. Then Chloe said something to him that broke my heart. still unable to understand why her father is absent in her life, she said, "Why don't you live in my world, daddy?"

i wanted to grab her and hug her and tell her how much everyone loves her... but i didn't. i let him continue to try to explain his "situation" to her. he promised that he would come and see her this summer. but he's made those promises before... when Chloe got done talking with her dad she hung up the phone and said to me, "I really miss my daddy."

and this happens every time he calls... it seems like a cycle, really: Chloe doesn't usually talk about her dad or say she misses him- but whenever he calls she gets really upset : (

Clay didn't talk to him at all on the phone. I asked him if he wanted to and he just said, "no." He knows that my ex is not his biological father but was still raised by him for 3 years of his life.

I'm just not quite sure what I should do about the whole situation... Do I continue to encourage Chloe's father to be a part of her life? He is such a small part of her life as it is and seems to just upset her when he does contact her... OR do I ask him to please stop calling every couple of months? I could continue to send him pictures and updates on the kids?... I don't know. I'm trying to be the best mom I can possibly be and I just don't know what to do about this.